Obsession or love? 10 indicators of obsession.

The nation still mourns the death of a 6th year Medicine student at Moi University. The sexy lass was murdered by her ‘lover’  and the images of what happened were very disturbing to say the least. An axe was all it took to leave her lifeless body on the road, with a trail of fresh blood flowing freely from the scene of crime. This leaves me with a lot of questions concerning love and how far one should go in the name of love. Would you kill someone in the name of love or are you obsessed? Can even tell the difference? Let’s focus on the difference below;

1.When you love someone, it happens naturally. You don’t need to put in effort to achieve that. However, when you feel like you have to be someone else to make someone else love you, then you may be merely obsessed with them.

 

2. Love requires space. When you love someone, you don’t always need to be on their face or to always blow up their phones for it to be evident. When you feel that you’re too clingy to a particular person to the extent that you constantly want to know what they are up to, then you may be obsessed with them.

3. In love, there is trust…lots of trust. This means that as a lady, even when you see your partner talking to another lady, you will know that this other lady is not a threat. However, when you are constantly stalking your lover and getting lady of every lady that comes near him, then that is obsession.

4. Love is easy. Yes, it may be exciting and your stomach may be filled with butterflies during the first few months but when it gets to a point where you can’t concentrate at work or that you’re always distracted, then that may be obsession.

5. Love needs no titles…You’re happy with how comfortable the other party is with you and you’re focused on enjoying the moment. However, when you feel like your lover has to constantly introduce you as his girlfriend or boyfriend or that you demand to be called hun and babe at all times, then you may be obsessed with the idea of love. Titles come in naturally.

6. In love, there’s growth and support. Your partner knows that you have a life and your career, spirituality and even social life need to grow. If you’re in a situation where your lover constantly tries to make you not to go to work or that he or she discourages you to hang out with your family and friends and you gladly give in, that is obsession.

7.In love, there’s peace and harmony. Yes, there may be quarells here and there, minor fights and arguments but none ever goes overboard because at the end of the day, you don’t want to hurt the other party. However, when your lover is constantly beating you up, insulting you and even throwing you out of the house at odd hours and you still go back, then that is obsession.

8. When someone is constantly trying to bring you down, for instance,  by body-shaming you, spending your money without caring, talking I’ll about you to others and you are still stuck with them, them you’re obsessed with them.

9. In love, there’s transparency and honesty. You always want your loved one to be at par with what you’re doing. However, when you’re with someone and he/she is hideous and every time you try to find out stuff about them they end up being evasive, yet you just feel okay with it, that is obsession, not love.

10. Lastly, obsession is associated with the thought that you’re going to die if the other party leaves and that you cannot basically live without them. Love may come with some bit of this but when it is too much, more of like a stupid fantasy, then you are obsessed.

 

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